My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Things I bet you didn’t know about Hawaii…..

on January 11, 2012

a) It’s cold here.  Like fall in N. California cold– in the morning and since I  have, as quickly as possible, acclimatized to never.wanting.to.be.cold.again – the weather this AM sucked.  (I wrote this post under 2 blankets with my ugly UofT sweatshirt on.) Go Longhorns! Whatever else you make a great ugly ass pajama hoody..

b) Everyone really is nice.  It’s not just a tourist commercial.  Seriously.

c) Poultry are everywhere.  Wild and obnoxious poultry.  I’m waiting on a slingshot from Cabelas then it’s on like donkey kong.  (I interrupted writing this message from AlohaLand  to go throw rocks at the stupid roosters.)

d) Chasing roosters – it’s easy to get up the lava rock hill – it’s less easy to get down the lava rock hill.  Thank god no one else was awake because about the time I started down the hill I realized it was god o’clock in the am and I was in flipflops, a UofT hoody and  my underpants had the words “SPANK ME” emblazoned across my ass.

y) Everything here comes down to my disdain for roosters going off at midnight, 2am and 6:46am.

z) I want a monkey, but this isn’t new to me being in Hawaii……..

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4 responses to “Things I bet you didn’t know about Hawaii…..

  1. Joyce H. says:

    We all know Capon makes the very best Coq au vin!!!! Once you get bad ass with the slingshot you can take out a wild pig, stuff it with a rooster and make some sort of new take on a turducken.

  2. Karen Dee says:

    I love your organizational style.

  3. alohafemme says:

    Roospiggen here we come!!! You realize if I manage to kill a pig with a slingshot the next thing I’m going to do is call you screaming “We’re going to Disneyland!!!!!!”

  4. scoobs63 says:

    Haven’t you always wanted a monkEY

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