My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

note cards, microbiology, and REDRUM…

on January 12, 2012

So here I sit.  Nice view of the ocean.  Birds chirping.  Doing my homework like a good femme should.  I’m in the middle of writing a note card about the 4 nucleotides of DNA and I start writing like I’m possessed by a demon….  *insert nails on chalkboard sound please…*

I’m not possessed.  Really, I’m not.  Just ask…..  Oh forget it don’t ask anyone just take my word for it for fucks sake!   The roosters have triangulated around the house and decided to crow back and forth like I can only imagine nice little yodelers do on pristine mountain tops in Switzerland.  I’m not in the Swiss Alps in case you aren’t following along to where I am.. and I might feel insane is surrounded by yodelers ask me when I’m trying to do homework in the Swiss Alps..  No wait – don’t ask me..  I’ll have thrown my cell phone down the mountain face and gone skiing naked…..  As I was saying!!


If not – let me remind you.  My nice friendly, fluffy, what a fierce femme does in Hawaii for 1.5 years blog has become my rampage against poultry in particular wild.fucking.roosters.

So I made up this ditty to amuse myself while scribbling REDRUM over and over again on my notecards.  ((Gah – technology you hosebeast..  Don’t put this post up before I’m done!!  Ok along again..))  Sing this to “How Much Is That Dog In The Window” while thinking…. about how much I want the roosters to expire..

  • Oh when oh when will my slingshot come?
  • Oh when oh when will it arrive?
  • With their stupid feathery tails and their stupid ugly beaks I’m going to make sure they all die!

Yes I really ordered a slingshot.  My favoritest Geek in the Midwest found me a slingshot with metal ammo.  Have I mentioned I love geeks and this one in particular?  I’ll post details on the slingshot later..  No I’m not sharing the Geek..  He’s married and not to me!!

So until I have dead roosters to show you just imagine me strung out over a rooster or 4.  Not finals, not what do I wear, not omg I have a date..  Roosters…  4 of them..  And they are holding me hostage..  In Hawaii..  With a nice view..  And fresh fruit……


One response to “note cards, microbiology, and REDRUM…

  1. I can’t help but imagine: 4 roosters, dressed in tiny police uniforms and tiny police hats sporting megaphones. These roosters have you surrounded and they’re blaring at you with confusing orders to “come out with your wings up”, “lose any weaponized homework”, and ” we know your hiding chicks in there, release the hostages” REALLY REALLY LOUDLY.

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