My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Spring Migration – Femme Style


This is spacial issue.....

Yeap – that’s what it looks like when I get ready to go to San Francisco!  I promise I’ll post pictures of food and fashion and fun….

Buckminster.The.Pony.Size.Dog say…..


This picture is for Germ.Yoda – because I couldn’t have made it through my midterm without your help!


Look what I did!

Leave a comment »

Travel – travel – travel

For a multitude of reasons I think a lot about traveling.  Not just because I’m packing my suitcases and leaving the island for a visit to San Francisco, but because I’ve put it off for far far far too long.

I spent most of my childhood traveling and then I grew up and just stopped.  WtF?  I used to work from home – I could have worked from Rome for roosters sake.  So here’s to changes.

In the mean time……  I stole a link from another amazing woman who travels and she is off on a jet for Morocco, Egypt and Turkey!  Tips to travel for cheaper than usual.  Yay!

On that note – I have bags to pack, dogs to kiss, homework to do and plans to make because AuntieMame is making masala mai thais with my name allllllllllll over them…  

Touchdown in…

2 days – 54 minutes – 40 seconds


Leave a comment »

I’m going to visit the monkeys (someday)!!

No really!  I am..  There is a blog I spend way to much time following and here’s why….ok find you can’t read my mind clearly…  I.Love.Traveling and it’s pretty much what I dream about doing when I’m done with school.

So the latest post is about Bali and sacred monkeys.  We all know I love monkeys as much as I love my ducks and probably more than I love Buckminster.The.Pony.Size.Dog.  It’s fairly cheap to go from Australia to Bali so I’ll just be tacking that trip onto my next trip home.

Yay me!  And now back to homework.  God knows the world needs me to gene hack papaya and avocado on a Sunday afternoon.  😐

Leave a comment »

AIDS Walk sans ducks and roosters and chickens…

Sorry Mr. Duckles – I’m not inviting you to come with me.

So  I used to be in marketing and event design.  God it sucked.  I still do some work for Mr.L and that work doesn’t suck.  Mostly because I can boss him around.  No really I wouldn’t do that, but we do eat cupcakes and chinese food while working and take trips to see Cirque as my reward.  Hence – working for Mr.L doesn’t suck – except that I don’t live in Oakland anymore so I eat far less chinese food and haven’t had a cupcake in FOREVER.  That’s ok – the phone isn’t as good, but it’s still good.

Anyway – what’s my point.  I volunteer here in Hawaii for the Big Island HIV/AIDS Foundation and I help with marketing.  I got so busy helping everyone else I forget to ask people to sponsor me!!  HIHAF is amazing.  Here’s why…

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live on an island with limited medical care and get sick come to Hawaii.  The whole island is considered rural in terms of medical and we do in fact have to wait months for Dr. appointments.  Hence the importance of HIHAF.  We have an RN on staff, a food pantry and specialists who help clients obtain medications, housing and just about anything they need.

We’ve decided we need and AIDS walk so and AIDS walk we have created.  On April 21st we are doing a 2 mile walk at a beautiful park in Hilo.  Feel like being my hero and donating?  I’ll send you a rooster a thank you note and I’ll even kiss you if I see you soon.

Here’s the link to donate.

You have to put in my name “Sarah Spalding” to navigate to my page…  Ladyface and Dr.Evil already donated.  You know you want to be next!!

Leave a comment »

I won…..

So…If you happen to be my neighbor…And you happen to hand me a rifle with a scope on it…..And I happen to be standing on the lanai…..And I happen to be able to see 2 roosters…..And I have totally clear shots…

What do you think I’m going to do??  

Rooster -2, Sarah +2

<the end> 

Leave a comment »

Humping through the middle of the semester…… Almost not about cocks…..

I have less time than usual to devote to writing and being funny..  Well I think I’m funny.  You might not…  Anyhooooooo…

So  I emailed GermYoda to complain about my upcoming test on microbial metabilism and for tips on because GermYoda is the only person I know other than me who thinks going someplace like Iceland  is the.greatest.idea.since.gram.staining!

So GermYoda being the.coolest.queer.ever (even HomoKiwi will agree on that) suggested I visit the Iceland Cock Museum…  Not kidding!!  The Icelandic Phallological Museum actually exists!  It’s a real place dedicated to preserving penis’…  In jars or dehydrated or salted or whatever…  I have always loved detachable penis’ even before RadioHead made them famous..

Additionally lest the whole trip be about a penis museum (which would be fine!) I zero’d in on the prettiest spa I’ve EVER seen and it’s of course in Iceland!!  Lots of beautiful pools and boxes of mud to smear all over myself.  I haven’t figured out if it’s a bathing suit + or – place yet.  0_o  My diet plans need to know.

I may have to call them tomorrow..

I don’t speak Icelandic..

This could be funny…

Until then here is yet another picture of Buckminster.The.Pony.Sized.Dog – he’s so handsome and he really can take up the whole futon.  But only when he’s wet from playing in the rain and spawls out nose to tail as long as possible to insure the futon is not useable EVER.AGAIN by anyone but him!

I’m So Pretty!!!!

PS..  That is the dining room rug not a persian bamboo futon.  I don’t think the persians had futons and probably would never mix wool and bamboo…..

PPS…  Buckminster.The.Pony.Size dog is not going to Sweden or Denmark or Iceland with me..  He’s not Viking enough except that he’s more Viking than me since he’s part mastiff…….  Whatever – he’s not going!  Unless he learns to kill roosters in which case I’ll grand him any wish his pony size heart desires…

Leave a comment »