My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Why I can’t find anything I want on Craiglist……

It’s a lovely day here in AlohaLand…..I’m working away and poof someone awesome (LeDragon) sends me something awesome.. Not won the lotto awesome, but close… explanation as to why I can’t find anything cool on Craigslist…..IT’S BECAUSE a lady named Victoria Olivia Barnes already has..

5,000+ miles away from me in a house (a house not dissimilar to the Victorian house Mr.Monster owns in Virginia) is where all the cool craigslist things live….including several giant mirrors that I would sell other peoples body parts in order to hang in the house I don’t live in because the house I don’t live in is where all our nice things are…

Great – now I miss no-wheresville Virginia and I’m verklempt to not be installing a claw foot tub and growing insane numbers of tomatoes this summer. Never-mind my office looks out over the blue expanse that is the Pacific ocean….. I’m never happy am I? Don’t answer that….no really…don’t answer….

Read Victoria’s blog – it’s what mine would be more like if I was restoring a house and not chasing my ass around trying to stop people from doing human things….I need to rethink my career change… Mr.Monster won’t thank anyone for any part of this least of all the fact that I’m going to find a freakishly huge mirror and put it somewhere in some house somewhere..


We have one like this… Virginia…..

Ps- I can’t stop editing this post or thinking about that mirror and how I need to get off this rock and steal the Morror.Troll..

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I won… Say it.. I won.. I won…

Anyone who knows me knows I know every word there is to know from the movie Tank Girl.  At one point in my young life I wanted the comic book version tattooed on my body.  I’ve since grown up and realize that missile boobs are going to crash and look like deflated balloons in the next 19 years or so.

But I did win, or at least I think I did.  I’m getting married.  The girl “who would never get married” is getting married.  Setting the date made it a little real, sending in the venue contract made it a whole lot more real.  This is a happy kind of real and a reminder to start blogging more lest I forget the funny and important parts of planning this monumental event.

  • Venue – done
  • Hair and makeup – done
  • Dress – flying to California soon
  • 100,000,000 other things?  still.not.done

Whatever – the point is for all of this to be fun.  There have been days even recently that I was a crying mess because I thought a wedding was just going to be a disaster and that I should go live under a banana leaf in Thailand.  (Why Thailand?  I have a backyard full of banana trees so I clearly wasn’t being rational….not news…)  I have LadyFace and LadyFairy and a very bold Dragon on my side to continually say “is that what you really want?” and it works.  They are amazing.

It’s going to be fun, it’s going to be fine.  My most favorite people ever will be here, the whales will be migrating and everything else is just extra.  I plan to spend an inordinant amount of time the week before making things with LadyFace while drinking fruity drinks and wearing Hello Kitty pajamas because that’s what I want.  My invites have skulls and octopus on them, because I want them too.

Somewhere during the growing up thing I’ve been doing was realizing I get to have the life, the wedding, the fiance, the car, the education THAT I WANT TO HAVE – not what’s been dictated by other people.  So yay, I’m spoiled – not news.