My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Hey Y’all Watch This! aka I’m in the kitchen again..

The humorous and painful (literally) life of a girl who can’t cook living with a chef.

Last night I’m heating up side dishes for dinner. Microwave 3 minutes. Ding! Thank you Safeway. (It’s Friday shushy) and I think “hmm wonder of the mashed potatoes are warm”.

I stick my finger in and they are really really really really hot, stuck to my finger and burning. “Owieeeeee” and I look up and Jess is leaning on the counter grinning.

Here comes the sympathy! . (You’d think!)

No…no….

Monster says “those types of things stick to skin and burn like hell.”

me: “You didn’t think to warn me?”

Monster: “Nope, it’s funny to watch”

Me: “Yeah thanks, all I can see now is a neon sign over your head when I walk in the kitchen. It says “hey y’all watch this and has an arrow pointing to me!”

Monster: “Pretty much”

Me: “That really burned”

Monster: “Yeap..”

Below is what happened when I made myself scrambled eggs last week….I’ll stick with Starbucks…

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