My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Things I bet you didn’t know about Hawaii…..

a) It’s cold here.  Like fall in N. California cold– in the morning and since I  have, as quickly as possible, acclimatized to – the weather this AM sucked.  (I wrote this post under 2 blankets with my ugly UofT sweatshirt on.) Go Longhorns! Whatever else you make a great ugly ass pajama hoody..

b) Everyone really is nice.  It’s not just a tourist commercial.  Seriously.

c) Poultry are everywhere.  Wild and obnoxious poultry.  I’m waiting on a slingshot from Cabelas then it’s on like donkey kong.  (I interrupted writing this message from AlohaLand  to go throw rocks at the stupid roosters.)

d) Chasing roosters – it’s easy to get up the lava rock hill – it’s less easy to get down the lava rock hill.  Thank god no one else was awake because about the time I started down the hill I realized it was god o’clock in the am and I was in flipflops, a UofT hoody and  my underpants had the words “SPANK ME” emblazoned across my ass.

y) Everything here comes down to my disdain for roosters going off at midnight, 2am and 6:46am.

z) I want a monkey, but this isn’t new to me being in Hawaii……..