My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Flailing along… (humm to Bobbing Along on the Bottom of the Beautiful Briny Sea…)

The last 9 months have been made of flail….survivable, but totally back to back, nearly non-stop flail….

Advertisements
Leave a comment »

Insights from Target or North vs. South

Mr.Monster and I are in the DC/Reston area for Labor Day weekend.  We went to see Lawless since it’s about bootleggers in Virginia and well, Mr.Monster is related to those people……best to know who you are sleeping with!  I digress, but only kind of…

There is a distinct difference between “up north” and “down south” and it’s more than just accents, the liberal use of bacon or the conservative nature of the residents.  In a very short, romantic, amazing month I’ve become accustomed to something in the south – polite and mostly friendly people.

Walk into any store, gas station, cafe, anywhere and people smile, greet you, say please and thank you etc. etc.  In the south (thus far) no one acts like a linebacker going for the bread or the apples.  There is no “get.the.fuck.out.of.my.way” race from the checkout to the front door.  

Maybe it’s having gone from Hawaii, where we live aloha, to the south, where politeness is cultural that being in DC bothers me.  It’s not a huge bother, but it’s enough to remind me that contrary to popular belief I don’t much care for cities or city folk.  After our last trip to target so that I could procure monkey socks and polka dot shoes, I looked at Mr.Monster and said “I’m ready to go back home now please….”  Mr. Monster snickered and later the same day so did my uncle Mr.CrankyPants and my dear friend TheDragon, all of whom hail from the south…..  

There are many things I thought I would do with my life and many places I thought I would live – the south I assure you was not on that list, but neither was love.  So along with having already fallen madly in love with one very handsome and kind Mr. Monster – I’m falling in love with the southern half of Virginia.  So I can add loving being in the south to 101 things I never thought I would say or do, but isn’t that exactly how life works out most of the time?

<end – nothing else to read – go buy me shoes!>

Leave a comment »

I’m going to visit the monkeys (someday)!!

No really!  I am..  There is a blog I spend way to much time following and here’s why….ok find you can’t read my mind clearly…  I.Love.Traveling and it’s pretty much what I dream about doing when I’m done with school.

So the latest post is about Bali and sacred monkeys.  We all know I love monkeys as much as I love my ducks and probably more than I love Buckminster.The.Pony.Size.Dog.  It’s fairly cheap to go from Australia to Bali so I’ll just be tacking that trip onto my next trip home.

Yay me!  And now back to homework.  God knows the world needs me to gene hack papaya and avocado on a Sunday afternoon.  😐

Leave a comment »

I want to be this lady when I grow up!!

Yeah so I’m already kinda grown up, but I stumbled across the blog of a woman who has been to 33 countries and has no plans on stopping.  YES PLEASE!!  (minus the pregnant part because we allllll know I’m Mommy Dearest material and the world doesn’t need more wire hanger scenes)

At the moment for a couple of reasons my travel is limited to frequent trips back to California.  Is it the 16th yet?!?!?! BUT upon graduation – that.has.to.change.

So here is my hit list.  The top 5 places I want to see or see again!

  1. Europe – this trip is in the budding stage.  Ideally I’ll go summer 2013 before RN school.
  2. Scotland – I have an overwhelming desire to go to Scotland again, but this time with  TheHandsomestManUnder30.  I have a feeling my brother and I will get into enough trouble that someone will have to bail us out.  ET Phone Home!
  3. India – I.Just.Want.To.Shop
  4. Africa – I’m fairly certain there is an AIDS project with my name on it in Africa
  5. Galapagos – I need to find out if they have a monkey for me.

I will not be traveling with roosters or to anywhere that advertises having poultry as some kind of country delight.  I’m fine without fresh eggs thanks.

😐

6 Comments »

A Medical Guide to Hazardous Marine Life………and distractions of the non poultry kind..

So here’s a fun paddling link to watch!  (I like big waves and I can not lie – HomoKiwi you sing with me please!)

I’m not telling you why I’m distracted so let’s just move on!  (It’s probably the roosters keeping me awake…or rivers..it’s the rivers…Either way ONWARD!

HerMajestyMyLadyMother took me to the.most.incredible.bookstore.ever!  Ok so maybe I’m exagerating a little, but it was a warehouse size used bookstore in Hawaii with a fairly good queer section.  As usual everything with HerMajesty is ever an adventure.

ME: “Do you have an LGBT section..” 

CounterLady: “A what?”

ME:  “Gay section – books about gays….”

CounterLady: “Oh yes!  It’s on the far wall…”

ME: “Thank you!”

*This is me wander wander wander wandering around smelling the books.  MyLadyMother handed me a book called A Medical Guide to Hazardous Marine Life -squeeeee-*

CounterLady “Did you find what you were looking for?”

ME: “Oh yes – I thought I was gay before, but I certain I am now..”

*This is the counter lady blinking rapidly while HerMagesty plies me with book purchases*

*This is me wandering out the door after HerMagesty but not without exclaiming I have found another book that is my long lost friend and needs to come home with me!*

MyLadyMother:  “Sarah-Louise!”

*This is me with my ears turning red*

ME: “I can’t help it……..”

MyLadyMother: “Really child…what is the matter with you.”

ME: “I just figured out I was gay at 32 in a bookstore in Kona with my mother.  I think we should celebrate – how about a toaster and a new BMW and more books?”

MyLadyMother: “Just get in the car please. You were gay last week too.”

ME: “Ok, but hand me my book – I need to see if you are in the hazardous marine life book………”

ME:   “You know Mummy I like my life even if you are a barracuda….”

MyLadyMother:  “Sarah-Louise!”

<The End>

Leave a comment »

I’ve always wanted a monkey (this isn’t news…..)

I.LOVE.CAKEWRECKS.COM – I’ve been following them for a while now.
Specifically because of this page..
and because I have always wanted a monkey.  And I swear I wanted one long before I started following Blogess.  It’s because I’m spoiled and I know it.  I got the pony, but I didn’t get the monkey and I really.don’t.need.a.monkey but I.really.want.a.monkey.  I think I’m going to have to settle for a taxidermy monkey.  😐  (Which is kind of neat…)  If you happen to find a lovely taxidermy monkey please send it to me – I’ll send you some coffee in return.
See!  This post has nothing to do with roosters!
2 Comments »