My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Recovery ala roosters..

Mr.Monster and I are back in Hawaii.  OK I’m back in Hawaii, this is Monster’s first trip here.  There is good and bad to recovering in Hawaii.  The good is I can go to class and see my friends, the bad is I can’t go flop in the ocean or really do much of anything except be annoyed by the roosters at 6am.  Yeah I know – I’m sure you are crying me a river right?

THERE ARE STILL ROOSTERS HERE!

I know you were wondering and sadly it’s true

The roosters remain, BUT the good news is there are less roosters than before.  Like only 2 which is going to make sending Monster on an annihilation mission much more probable.  Ideally I’d like to get rid of all the roosters and chickens and only have my pretty Bard Rock chickens and ducks.  Oh well – I don’t get to decide as many things as I’d like around here.  (read none!)

So in other news it’s AlohaFriday here and Mr.Monster has abandoned me to my rest bed in favor of using a machete to cut down plants.  It’s been generally agreed upon by MyLadyMother and my Mr.Monster that a vegetable garden is a good idea.  I can’t grow anything except roses and orchids so I mostly wave my hands and my crutches around saying……

“yes”

“very well”

“good plan”

“carry on”

“etc. and so forth”

I did try to do a nosedive down the driveway.  Most of you haven’t seen our driveway – let’s just say a tumble down it would be a ginormous mistake.  Momentous, but still a major mistake.

So I’ll wrap this post up by saying it’s nearly been a year!  The best thing that ever happened to me was my event contract being cancelled and me having to figure out what to do with my life.  I’ve spent a fair amount of time conversing with my dear friend LadyFaceGomez recently about money and happiness and she reminds me as often as I need it that money isn’t happiness.  I am more happy now than last year.  I have love, great friends, ducks, a pony size dog, and 3/4 of an education under my belt.  I sound all zen and shit don’t I?  Well to quote my favorite math professor Mr. B….

Namaste Mother Fucker  🙂

ps – it’s Oktoberfest tonight and if I’m luck I’ll have pictures of Mr.Monster doing the chicken dance!

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I’ve always wanted a monkey (this isn’t news…..)

I.LOVE.CAKEWRECKS.COM – I’ve been following them for a while now.
Specifically because of this page..
and because I have always wanted a monkey.  And I swear I wanted one long before I started following Blogess.  It’s because I’m spoiled and I know it.  I got the pony, but I didn’t get the monkey and I really.don’t.need.a.monkey but I.really.want.a.monkey.  I think I’m going to have to settle for a taxidermy monkey.  😐  (Which is kind of neat…)  If you happen to find a lovely taxidermy monkey please send it to me – I’ll send you some coffee in return.
See!  This post has nothing to do with roosters!
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Death Cock……..is loud…..

Death Metal Rooster…..  Just click the linky.  You won’t thank me, but I’ll thank you.

The above bit of goodness is brought to me by my god brother.  He is without a doubt TheMostGorgeousManUnder30 and thankfully he knows it, I know it and when I get to go to lunch with him and all the girls stare me down.  Hahaha I win!  Look I don’t get to win against Barbie very often….so I take what I can get!!

(He’s not gay……HomoKiwi I already know what you are thinking….I know sad HomoKiwi…)

TheMostGorgeousManUnder30 also happens to be really smart and equally if not more snarky than his older, not so wiser, sister.  And hence I am graced with roosters with billy clubs, satan living in Scotland and Death Metal Rooster….

PS – Did I mention he’s going to be a Dr. and keep me young.forever.and.ever.and.ever!!!

PPS – He’s single.  But I have to approve and I’m unlikely to approve of anyone.  Except someone snarkier than me or brave enough to send me Death Cocks..  The feathered kind.  Not that the other kind can’t be feathered..  But they shouldn’t be – at least not unless that is your fetish and there is after all Rule 34.

it appears my favorite Rule34 comic from xkcd has gone missing.  sorry!

 

 

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