My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Recovery ala roosters..

Mr.Monster and I are back in Hawaii.  OK I’m back in Hawaii, this is Monster’s first trip here.  There is good and bad to recovering in Hawaii.  The good is I can go to class and see my friends, the bad is I can’t go flop in the ocean or really do much of anything except be annoyed by the roosters at 6am.  Yeah I know – I’m sure you are crying me a river right?

THERE ARE STILL ROOSTERS HERE!

I know you were wondering and sadly it’s true

The roosters remain, BUT the good news is there are less roosters than before.  Like only 2 which is going to make sending Monster on an annihilation mission much more probable.  Ideally I’d like to get rid of all the roosters and chickens and only have my pretty Bard Rock chickens and ducks.  Oh well – I don’t get to decide as many things as I’d like around here.  (read none!)

So in other news it’s AlohaFriday here and Mr.Monster has abandoned me to my rest bed in favor of using a machete to cut down plants.  It’s been generally agreed upon by MyLadyMother and my Mr.Monster that a vegetable garden is a good idea.  I can’t grow anything except roses and orchids so I mostly wave my hands and my crutches around saying……

“yes”

“very well”

“good plan”

“carry on”

“etc. and so forth”

I did try to do a nosedive down the driveway.  Most of you haven’t seen our driveway – let’s just say a tumble down it would be a ginormous mistake.  Momentous, but still a major mistake.

So I’ll wrap this post up by saying it’s nearly been a year!  The best thing that ever happened to me was my event contract being cancelled and me having to figure out what to do with my life.  I’ve spent a fair amount of time conversing with my dear friend LadyFaceGomez recently about money and happiness and she reminds me as often as I need it that money isn’t happiness.  I am more happy now than last year.  I have love, great friends, ducks, a pony size dog, and 3/4 of an education under my belt.  I sound all zen and shit don’t I?  Well to quote my favorite math professor Mr. B….

Namaste Mother Fucker  🙂

ps – it’s Oktoberfest tonight and if I’m luck I’ll have pictures of Mr.Monster doing the chicken dance!

2 Comments »

Roosters Love Orchids! – kind of like the Nissan commercial Dogs Love Trucks only less amusing…

😐  We’ll start with that face…..  😐  again just to make sure it’s understood that I am not a happy monkey.  Oh and here is the Dogs Love Trucks commercial in case you have no idea what I’m talking about because you should, it was funny!

So back to my unhappiness…….The stupid roosters have decided that in retaliation for rock throwing in my underwear (again) they are going to terrorize my orchids.

-asshole poultry-

So far they have left the baby orchids and the grown up orchids alone.  They seem to like knocking over my juvenile orchids best.  Stupid roosters, I can take out their kids and their little white dogs to you know!  Someone hand me my broomstick!

My friend DiverDan has located me a pink slingshot since Cabelas failed me!  He’ll be sending that soon I hope….  HINT HINT HINT!!!.

Side note: I had a pink leopard broom, but my SuperBitchHouseMateFromHell has it.  It would have matched the pink slingshot really well.  As it is I’m going to need some pink underwear for this next phase of rooster irradication.

In yet further rooster adventures I was questioned by my FairyGodMother as to if I was really actually going to kill the roosters.  What do you think I’m going to do?  😐

So now I must go back to googling for deep sea microbes and sexy underwear. (The underwear is NOT for the roosters!!)

So tiny and so sweet!

Leave a comment »