My Life in Paradise

because I only wish I could make this sh*t up…

Screw the roosters – let’s talk fire and hoses and chemistry..

Been awhile – fill in this space with blah blah blah about why it’s been so long etc.  Be creative!  Make something up that involves aliens and jail and cake and thai hookers, I’ll back you up, so will HomoJoe.

So at this moment I’m sitting on a too small couch in a too hot city in my underwear trying to wrap my brain around a decision to take a course that may well be the biggest challenge yet.  Where am I?  Sacramento, CA.  Because everyone leaves this for 105 degree summers right?  Wrong it’s just me.

Failing to read the course description I signed up for a two semester chemistry class that some masochist compressed into one regular semester and some sadist compressed into a summer semester.  Think 34 weeks of chemistry compressed into about 7 weeks.  Yeah – it’s going to be like drinking from a firehose and wearing depends because I don’t actually have time to go pee I’ll be studying .  

I did get a new livescribe pen. Not all my ex’s live in Texas but the one who does is pretty damn cool and she is who sent me the pen.  (I’m fairly lucky in that I get to be friends with most of my ex’s. I know – so very lessssssbian of me!) 

So stay tuned for the summer.  Rather than rooster antics I’ll probably be posting about my latest chemical disaster.  It’s a lab class after all and doing it wrong can lead to a cold naked shower with your classmates.

Oh yeah – the picture is me.  Reading a medical text.  In a tiara.  I win!


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Oh My Gay – It’s nearly summer!!!

So what’s new in alohaland?  Not much really.  My ducks are delightful.  I’ve named them but I can’t remember what – it’s early.  The roosters still mock me however I’m just waiting for the right moment to replace them with plastic lawn flamingos……..and they know it!  Zombie lawn flamingos to be exact.  *smirk*

3.5 weeks to go and summer break starts.  Not that I’m taking time off school or anything.  I’m planning to take Ochem this summer.  “Bless me father for I have sinned…”  HOLY SHITE..  8 weeks and a metric ton of remembering later River may be cleaning me up off the bottom of the shower.

Anyway – we are sporting plans to run off to Yosemite for a few days.  A few days being 2 since River saving all her time for our Christmas adventure in Sweeeeeeeeden and Icccccccceland..  Who doesn’t want to go Europe for Christmas raise your hand.  Yeah I didn’t think so!  I wanted to go to Germany as well, but student funds only go so far and there is a tattoo artist in Denmark I’m stalking!

For those of you who have requested a photo of aka my brother.  Look!  I got one.  I’m the short one in the picture in case your gender glasses aren’t working!


I ❤ my brother. You should too.


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